OFFICIAL WEBSITE OF SHERLENE STEVENS

To children, kitchen time is science class at its best.

We combine all kinds of ingredients, then stir, simmer,

boil, or bake, and --with patience, presto!--something delicious is created.

They observe how ingredients change when they are mixed together.

Being asked to help with cooking makes kids

feel grown up and important.

And when they cooperate with others to make a dish,

they take great satisfaction in producing something

which they can share.

When you cook with young kids, make sure to point

out key words on the recipe for young children.

Have a spelling contest, and do not forget to sound

out each syllable along with them. You sound them

out first, and then repeat. Have fun!

Source: J Kissinger, unknown magazine

Quiet Time for Busy Adults

Source: Author Unknown

Remember: Each of life's moments has richness that takes a lifetime to savor.

1. Slow down; God (Yahweh, Allah) is still in heaven.  You are not responsible for doing it all, right now.

2. Remember a happy, or a peaceful time in your past.  Rest or pause there for a few seconds and then resume your tasks.

3. Set your own pace: When someone is pushing you, it's OK to tell them they're being to pushy.

4. Take nothing for granted: watch water flow, or view nature's beauty scenes.

5. Rather than eat food take time to taste food.

6. Be grateful what you know, learn or possess; their purpose will become clear in your life.

7. When you talk to someone, don't think about what you'll say next.  Thoughts will spring up naturally if you let them.

8. Talk and play with your child(ren). Increase such activities in your unique household.

9. Create a place in your home ... at work ... in your heart ... where you can go for quiet and recollection. 

10. It's okay to have lazy and unproductive moments.  Rest isn't a luxury, it's a necessity.

11. Talk slower. Talk less. Don't talk. Communication isn't measured by words, but by the quality of words and action.

12. Take time just to think (brainstorm). Action is good and necessary, but it's more productive to muse, ponder, wonder, and mull.

13. Make time for play-things you like to do. Whatever your age, focus in on your inner child or re-create to know that child again.

14. Watch and listen to the night sky. It speaks.

15. Listen to the words that you speak (even prayers).

16. Learn to stand back and let others take their turn as leader (if you believe they can provide productive results).

17. Divide big jobs into little jobs. If God took six days to create the universe, can you hope to do any better?

18. When you find yourself rushing and anxious, stop.  Ask yourself "why" are you rushing and anxious. The reasons may improve your self-understanding.

19. Take time to read the Holy Scriptures or an interesting book (hobbie, self-help, values).

20. Direct your life with purposeful choices, not with speed and efficiency.  The musician is one who plays with statement and meaning, not the one who finishes first.

21. Take a day off alone; make a retreat.

22. Work with your hands. It frees the mind.

23. Sit in the dark. It will teach you to see and hear, taste and smell.

24. Once in a while, turn down the lights, the volume, the throttle, the tasks. Less can really be more.

25. Let go. Nothing is usually the hardest thing to do--but may often be the best choice during a unique situation.

*Post me your challenge, or frustation by using the 'add comment.' I will respond immediately, and may invite you to chat with me in the center's Chat Room (Family Room). And what ever the difficulty, it is okay to have feelings about it, just be careful in the technique that you use to express it to your opponent.

Moving and Children

Whether a move is just a few blocks away or thousands of miles,

relocating is stressful for everyone, especially children.

Stress-related behaviors:

• Agression
• Loss of appetite
• Regression to less mature behaviors
• Depression
• Withdrawal

Before the move, model positive attitudes.

Children are quick to mirror the emotions of people

important to them. Kids should be included in planning

whenever possible (i.e., house-hunting, walks around a new neighborhood).

If a visit is not possible before the move, show the child

photographs or videotapes of the new house--don't forget

his or her special area--and neighborhood family-friendly spots.

Making sure that you have a family member, friend, or known

neighbor nearby makes the transition a little easier when you

have young children.

Have you visited the local Child Care Administration?

Encourage your child to participate in choices involving the

packing process. Be creative, children should decorate and

label their own boxes.

And allow time for goodbyes in the old neighborhood.

After the move, as your kids begin to make new friends,

observe the strategies they use. Children often find that

strategies that worked in the old environment don't work with

peers  they do not know. They may need help in joining neighborhood

games or groups at school. Adults can provide this assistance

through modeling and role-playing. Check the local newspaper for

community events or this website :)

Moving is a process rather than a single event in children's lives.

And children's needs differ at various times during the process.

Our attention, understanding, and interaction can ease stress

and facilitate children's adjustment to a new environment.

First-Year College Student: Living On Campus Shopping List

• Shower Cap __
• Shampoo and conditioner set __
• Comb__
• Brush__
• Hair conditioner__
• Bobby pins__
• Safety pins__
• Soap bar or liquid soap__
• Toothbrush __
• Toothpaste__
• Dental floss __
• Qtips__
• Lotion__
• Nail polish remover__
• Deodorant__
• Sanitary napkins/tampons__
• Ankle socks__
• Wash cloths__
• Bath towels __
• Bathroom cleaning spray__
• Laundry basket/bag__
• Laundry detergent__
• Bleach__
• Fabric softener__
• Dryer sheets__
• Bandaids/First Aid Kit__
• Alcohol__
• Peroxide__
• Dollar Tree store-brand visit __
• Iron__
• Miniature Ironing board __
• Plastic bins/tubs __
• Twin size: (extra long) sheet sets__
• Twin size: (extra long) comforter __
• Pillows __  Qty. ___
• Back rest pillow __
• Desk Lamp __
• Lamp __
• Wall posters __
• Wall calendar__
• Pocket calendar planner__
• Plates __
• Glasses__
• Plastic ware__
• Paper towels__
• Napkins__
• Ziploc bags__
• Toilet paper__
• Trash can __
• Alarm clock__
• Hangers__
• Tissues ___
• Canned goods__
• Meats__
• Bottled Water__
• Dish detergent__
• Lyft or Uber rideshare gift card __
• Public transportation system card __
• Money for on-site laundry center__
• Small TV__
• Microwave or toaster oven __
• Small fan__
• Laptop __
• Printer__
• Printing paper__
• Cell phone __
• Blue tooth headsets__
• School library card __
• Official school ID card __
• Envelopes__
• Tape__
• Paperclips__
• Ruler__
• Standard desk stapler__
• Staples to go in stapler__
• Index cards__
• Notebooks__
• Loose-leaf paper__
• Pens__
• Pencils__
• Cover-it correction fluid aka (White-out)__
• 3-ring Binders_
• Athletic shoes__
• Casual shoes__
• Boots__
• Comfortable walking shoes__
• Flip flops/slippers __
• Panty hose/stockings__
• Professional outfit (at least one)__
• Jacket__
• Rain coat__
• Rain boots__
• Umbrella__
• Gloves/mittens__
• Winter coat__

Parenting is a Journey, Not a Destination

1. You never arrive with all the skills that you need to parent. 
2. Parents are not trained to be parents; kids are not trained to be kids. Kids train parents; parents train kids.
3. Parents are the most significant influence in a child's life.
4. A parent is the greatest teacher a child will ever have.  A parent and child certainly have the longest teaching relationship ever known.
5. It is not a question whether parents are teachers or not, it's what is taught.  Parents teach kids a whole language.
6. What you need to learn, you teach your child best.
7. Role modeling is a great learning tool.
8. Parent modeling that includes the unspoken as well as the spoken word is the most powerful force in shaping a child's life.
9. How you spend your time and money tells your kids what you value, regardless of what you say.
10. Successful parenting is predictable, routine, reliable and consistent.
11. There's a difference between an investment that sounds good and a sound investment.  There's no greater investment in life than your children.
12. Parents that praise each other and their children at least twice a day maintain a positive relationship regardless of the problems they encounter.
13. Behind every successful child are successful parents.  I've never met a good child who didn't have good parents.
14. Create an inviting, caring, supportive unique household.
15. Actively listen to your child's unspoken words as well as the spoken words.
16. Celebrate learning in your home. Everyone learns something every day.
17. Learn all you can about child growth and development, if you dare:)
18. Give your children time and distance to grow.
19. Give your child first hand learning experiences within your community. Field experiences in outside communities will show what your child has learned--good or bad.
20. Value their school work.
21. Allow your child to teach you something new. 
22. Surround your child with fine art materials, books, and different reading spots.
23. Take your child on field trips (museum, concerts, theatres, the movies). Teach the be-on-your-best behavior skills [when around people that do not ordinarily see] for more formal events.
24. Allow field trips around the old stuff too. Examples: Chess, Opera, Classical music
25. Go with them to a religious organization at least once a month, if not at every visit.
26. Use a larger vocabulary than your child knows.
27. Do not rely on your society (that village motto) to raise your child(ren).
28. Love you child without rewards or gains. "I love you regardless..."
29. Instruct your child how to do chores around your dwelling place, then give them a day to do independent chores. Choose chores based on age, LINK

Forms of Generational Family Dysfunction . . . Unproductive Situations/Actions That Happen Again and Again Within Family Sets

_Welfare or Social Service Reliance
_Inadequate or Inconsistent Home Style Living Arrangements
_No One in Family Has Ever Completed High School, Job Training or College
_No One in Family Has Ever Achieved Earnings Above The National/State Poverty Level
_No One in Family Has Ever Visited Outside Of The Local Neighborhood/Community
_No One in Family Drives a Vehicle or Has a Drivers License
_Vulnerable Adults with Dysfunctional Habits Which Causes Disconnection from Immediate or External Family (Sets)
_Extreme Jealousy and Possessiveness
_Family Household Isolation
_Verbal Abuse
_Violent Temper
_Controlling Behavior
_Financial Abuse
_Social Abuse
_Children Forced in Social Isolation other than Worship Settings or Local School Attendance
_Children Considered Less Than Human, Invaluable or Unworthy
_Unwanted Children Born Into/After Challenging Parental Relationships
_Single Parenting Only Activities Without Co-Parenting

Dance: Non-Religious and Religious Praise or Worship

Children of all ages are naturally drawn to music. Infants coo at lullabies, toddlers bang on pots and pans with a wooden spoon, and many people enjoy cultural singing and dancing to music.  Shaking, tapping, and beating instruments enhance fine motor development. Children listening for a beat, the sounds of different instruments, tones, and lyrics are developing auditory discrimination. 

Children can experience the emotion effects of music by listening to and creating music that is soothing, exciting, or funny. Music promotes creative development as children experiment with new rhythms, sounds, and movements.

It doesn't take expensive music tools and equipment to explore music. Let the music play. Be careful of the volume on developing ears whether it be at home, in the car, or at your place of worship. Avoid using ear phones when ever necessary. Wear ear plugs when rehearsing in a band, club, or areas where there is constant loud sounds.

Children love to dance. Even infants bounce up and down to the beat of music. It teaches them balance, and coordination through challenging moves and postures. It even promotes the ability to predict what comes next by hearing repeated musical phrases. It creates self-esteem and body awareness.  Many diverse cultures have special dances based on a seasonal experience in their lives. Dancing is a wonderful opportunity for families to have fun or to teach of their unique cultural history.

How Was Your Day?

Babysitter
When your child is in the care of a babysitter, the individual will supervise your child at your home or their home.  At their home, you may find toys--not necessarily educational items.  A sitter makes certain that the child is treated fairly and safe while in care; no real play activities or time learning something new.  A sitter is often more affordable and flexible than an early childhood educator or day care provider. There may or may not be other children cared for. An experienced sitter can be invaluable to your household if you have young children. Make certain to provide emergency information to a sitter. Be sure to ask a potential sitter if they include learning activities if this is the type of care that you desire.  An infant can learn, too.

Child Care Provider
A child care provider takes the profession more seriously and is more consistent in availability.  This individual may or may not have educational activities and daily outside play for age 0-13. Care may be available for only a certain age group.  Care is normally provided at the provider's home.  Licensed child care providers receive further training of how to care for kids: member-licensed in First Aid and CPR.  This individual will require completion of detailed documents such as immunization records and parental contact information.

Early Childhood Educator
This individual has been formally trained in caring for children and child development, age 0 -13. He or she may work at an education building or at their own dwelling.  A child who attends such care will be required to learn something new, and parents will be given information of daily learning achievements. This individual is easily recognizable to a parent who desires daily learning plans.

Fathers Are Wonderful People

Fathers are wonderful people too little understood,

And we do not sing their praises as often as we should.

For somehow, Father seems to be the man who pays the bills,

While mothers bind up little hurts and nurses all our ills.

And Father struggles daily to live up to "his image" as protector and provider and "hero of the scrimmage".

And perhaps that is the reason we sometimes get the notion that fathers are not subject to the thing we call emotion.

But if you look inside a father's heart, where no one else can see, you'll find he's sentimental and as "soft" as he can be.

But he's so busy every day in the gruelling race of life, he leaves the sentimental stuff to his partner, lover, and his wife.

But fathers are just wonderful in a million different ways, and they merit loving compliments and accolades of praise.

For the only reason fathers aspire fortune and success is to make the family proud of him and to bring them happiness.

And like our Heavenly Father, he's a guardian and a guide, someone that we can count on to be always on our side --of choices. -Author Unknown

Forms of Birth Controls

Source: Sexual Health Association (Aug. 2016)

Condoms                         84% Effectiveness
The Pill                            92-97%
The Shot                         99.7%
IUD                                 99.9% (Hormonal) or 99.2% (Nonhormonal)
Penis Withdrawal           78%

Under any State's law, a couple's frozen embryo is legally defined as simply a product, and not considered a fetus or child.

Family Definitions

1. Unique Household - Individuals who are or are not related and reside or participate within a specific housing dwelling or shared space. (i.e., brother, sister, mother, father, group of friends)
2. Immediate Family - Mother, father, brother, sister, grandparents, great aunts and uncles, individuals of a unique household
3. External Family - cousins, aunts and uncles, godparents, cousins from a marriage
4. Godparent - A woman or man who is not the biological parent, but loves, gives things, and give advice throughout their lifetime to a related or non-related child.
5. Great Aunt - Your mother's or father's sister, or your grandparent's sister.
6. Great Uncle - Your mother's or father's brother, or your grandparent's brother.
7. An individual has two sets of a family unit--maternal (mother's side) and paternal (father's side).
8. A married individual has four-set unification of a family unit--your maternal and paternal and your spouse's maternal and paternal.

Generation Definitions
1. First Generation - Children from the first couple of a family tree.
2. Second Generation - Children from the children created in the first generation.

Planning a Family Reunion

Source: Reunions Magazine, 2012

• Choose a set date and time and stick to it, yearly or every time-pattern year.
• Choose a date around a family milestone or special day; silver or golden wedding anniversary, a grandparent's or elder's birthday, a wedding or graduation, an ancestor's birthday or date of family immigration to our country, a retirement party, a birth, or an ethnic or religious holiday.
• Choose a date around time of year/season. 
• Choose a date around a long, holiday weekend.

Most reunions are held between June and September because the weather is better, travel is easier and school is out. Once you set a date, create a timetable for goals and objectives to be concluded.

Remember, even if the reunion is not held every year everyone should know when it will be.